Develop yourself
An interest in child development could open doors for you - follow our hints for taking it further.
Right and wrong
Parents usually try to teach their children right from wrong, but how do children learn to regulate their moral behaviour?
Children and happiness
What makes children happy? Toys? Friends? Uncover the truth in children and happiness.
Related programme
Dr Alex Cutting explores the dynamics of families with more than one child - and those with none
What about children growing up without siblings, or perhaps those with much older siblings? Are they disadvantaged by the lack of such an unique context (conflict and closeness) for the development of social competence? Historically, many writers have said "yes", and have characterised the only child as spoiled, self-centred and selfish.
However, more recent research findings suggest that while siblings bring many advantages, they are certainly not essential for healthy development. In fact, only children are just as socially competent as those with siblings, and often have greater self-esteem and higher achievement motivation, so they tend to do better academically. This may be because only children tend to have closer relationships with their parents, who exert more pressure to succeed. If this pressure is not excessive, it seems to be an advantage developmentally. Being an only child has pros and cons, as does having siblings. Only children frequently describe advantages like lack of rivalry, more privacy, greater affluence, and more time and attention from their parents. Disadvantages include missing the closeness of siblings, feeling great pressure to succeed from their parents, and having no-one to help them care for their elderly parents.
Final thoughts
Perhaps the most fascinating thing about sibling relationships is their sheer variety – there are different types of siblings and different types of relationships. Just like the children involved, no two sibling relationships are the same. What most sibling relationships have in common though, is their potential for influence on the development of the children who have them. Whether positive, negative, or both, these are relationships in which children really learn.
Further Reading
More reading about brother and sister relationships, chosen by Alex Cutting:
First, some books aimed at the general reader looking for practical support:
Siblings Without Rivalry: How to help your children live together, so you can live too
Faber & Mazlish, published by Avon Books
Sibling Rivalry, Sibling Love: What every brother and sister needs their parents to know
Parker & Stimpson, published by Hodder & Stoughton
Books which take a more academic perspective:
Seperate Live: Why siblings are so different
Dunn & Plomin, published by Basic Books
Children's sibling relationships: Developmental and clinical issues
Edited by Boer & Dunn, published by Lawrence Erlbaum Associates Inc
Families Count: Effects on child and adolescent development
Clarke-Stewart & Dunn published by Cambridge University Press
Websites:
Here are a couple of websites which are generally helpful for families. They do tend to assume that conflict between siblings is a universally bad thing, but the overall content is good.
Raising Kids - Useful because it focuses on siblings of a different ages, and includes step-siblings
Baby Centre - This website is useful for any family about to have another child. Includes advice on how to manage the arrival of a second or subsequent child.
Sex and Relationships' Siblings Survival Guide - Advice for siblings themselves - aimed more at older children and adolescents.
The BBC and the Open University are not responsible for the content of external websites
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Content last updated: 05/01/2006
